Adrift

Summary

Caregivers Emotional Journey as compared to a sailor cast adrift

 

Hearing the diagnosis of your loved one’s incurable disease  makes you  numb.

The words change your world in an instant.  Disbelief freezes you.

Seems like you are  sitting in a small  boat bobbing in the ocean waves

As you  watch your cruise ship sail over the horizon.

No amount of screaming, flailing, or cursing is going to bring the ship back. 

There is no going back to the safety of the world you knew. It’s gone. 

It’s just you and the horror that is the feeling of loneliness.

 And a sense of being powerless.  

 

Being a drift on the ocean is a good metaphor for what it feels like to suddenly have to take care of a family member. 

Knowing how people survive being adrift at sea is a lesson that will  help with this new reality you’re facing.

There are stories of people surviving, lost on the ocean, by themselves; for months or even several years.

Those survivors began pursuing solutions to known problems, right away.  Finding or making solutions to every problem they had. 

That is the key, 

 

Taking practical steps as soon as possible to keep problems from becoming insurmountable. 

Making the best raft or boat they could.   Without i,t they would drown when exhausted from treading water. 

Building shade on the raft.  Without it, the sun would burn them to death.

Figuring out how to get drinkable water.   Without that, they would die of dehydration. 

They figured out how to fish.   Without that, they would starve to death.

They figured out how to signal for help.    Without it, they could miss the chance for rescue .

Doing anything to keep themselves alive for one more day, removing a problem when they could. Being active about controlling what elements of this new situation is what stops the worst that could happen from happening.

Another deciding factor for survivors is not wasting the opportunities when they arrive 

Not letting time pass hoping for rescue.  Not waiting for a perfect fix. 

Start now by finding the smallest bits of good fortune.   The best castaways could do at first was stay afloat, and then  sop up whatever condensation collects in the morning for drinking water. 

They couldn’t do anything else with what they had.  The solution just wasn’t there with what they started out.

 Until a bit of good luck happened.  Often it was using the junk floating by to make something useful.

Making another fishing line to catch more fish.

Picking up a bottle to help collect or store more  fresh water. 

Adding a little more shade,  perhaps with a floating trash bag.  

 

You might only be able to keep your loved clean, fed and  medications up to date.

A trip to the park might be out of the question.  Going to the store might be unimaginable at first. 

The ability to do that will arrive. 

But you have to have a grip on things, a bit at a time, to take advantage of those opportunities.